MUCKRAKER is a prayerful patriot. One of the very few. Until now, he has been dutifully praying that the chairmanship of Sadc stops being rotational and becomes permanent, and able.
After all, we set the standards during our brief yet glorious tenure as chair, Muck doubted if any other leader could ever do better, especially in delivering progress, peace and development.
It was on that holy basis that Muck prayed to the good Lord to make us the permanent chairpersons of Sadc. And faithful as He always is, the good Lord was quick to reply.
Today, the inexperienced boy from Madagascar, who thought he could play at being Sadc chair, is already history. His successor, Colonel Michael Randrianirina, is disqualified from the post because he came to power through a coup, unlike us, who came through democratic means and will, of course, remain through the same democratic means.
So, what this means is that the chairmanship of Sadc will be reverting to Harare, hopefully, permanently. Only we are capable of providing a clear and strategic path toward regional prosperity. Sadc is so, so blessed.
Good, very good
Zimbos steeped in superstition are giggling with satisfaction that the General is finally getting a taste of his own medicine.
These Zimbos swear to Muck that Vice-President Constantino Chiwenga’s downfall is divine retribution for his disrespect to chiefs, especially when he insulted and threatened Chief Murinye a few years ago, believing that guns could do everything.
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When the chief raised serious concerns about the wanton corruption that is thriving under the Second Republic, the retired general came out guns blazing, threatening Murinye, who was later physically attacked by “unknown” persons, for daring to demand that corruption be rooted out.
Chiwenga even went on to declare Owner to be The Great Chief Munhumutapa, the paramount ruler who would reign for as long as he wished, blah, blah!
This incident served to show Zimbos that Chiwenga has all the rich ingredients of a ruthless dictator, worse than those who came before him.
After his pratfall at the just-ended conference in Mutare, very few are commiserating with him. The irony of it all is that the dossier that he submitted to his principal is almost a photocopy of the very same allegations raised by Chief Murinye. Having threatened the chief, he is now also being threatened with treason charges. What goes around … Good, every good!
Silly Hatemore
"They don’t vote at their gatherings, they just make noise. And the loudest noise is the one that is then called a resolution.”
This was Hatemore Madhuku badmouthing the “The Party” to his British handlers after it had held its very successful conference in Mutare.
It is as if members of his NCA party ever meet at all, let alone vote. What Madhuku should know is that by the time preparations for this year’s conference started, “The Party” had already completed implementing all the 162 resolutions adopted at its 2024 conference in Bulawayo.
By the time preparations for the next conference start, all the resolutions from this year’s conference would have been implemented, including the first resolution from “the People” that Owner goes nowhere.
“The Party” is a doer, which explains why the country is developing at such a neck-breaking speed.
Mother Zim
It’s now official. Owner’s wife has a brand-new title: “Mother Zimbabwe”. This was one of the highlights of the recently concluded National People’s Conference that was recently successfully held in Mutare.
According to official accounts — which the official Herald dutifully reported — Cde Amai Dr Auxillia, the caring mother of the nation, is now “Mother Zimbabwe”. Which, naturally, means the country now has a new Father Zimbabwe too. Zimbos will never, ever be orphans again!
Evil genius
When, in October 2015, the Nutty Professor’s daughter Zanele tragically died from suspected drug abuse at a South African university, her father, then minister of higher and tertiary education, wailed publicly for “my angel Zanele”.
Zimbos were shocked. Could the Nutty Professor actually be human after all? Muck and other Zimbos could be forgiven for wondering, because over the years the man had crafted for himself the image of a cold-hearted devil who relished the suffering of fellow human beings. Hence the nickname Nutty Professor.
This week the Nutty Professor was back to tell Zimbos, who are unhappy with their sorry plight, to shut up, claiming from the comfort of his exile and loot, that things are more than perfectly rosy in the country, thanks to the Second Republic.
He even listed five “positives” Zimbos should celebrate, accusing critics of practising amoral politics.
As a man who thrives on the oxygen of publicity and the warmth of power, it’s clear he’s suffocating in exile — desperate to worm his way back into the cult, and he is ready to do anything for a third chance.
He is also being linked to the poisonous “Breaking Barriers Initiative” that Zanu PF is pushing to mutilate the Constitution.
Evil people have always been there, and will always be there. In fact, they serve a certain dark purpose. In the Bible the devil is referred to as an “evil genius” and there is no doubt that he reluctantly shares this title with many supposed human beings.
Even Adolf Hitler surrounded himself with brilliant minds devoted to maximising human misery.
Zimbos can only hope that after doing all the dirty work, he would be lured back home and the ungrateful crocodile behaves in its typical fashion … at least he can get a taste of the goodies that he says Zimbos ought to celebrate their tails off for.
Hasn’t he already described Owner with vicious insults before? We don’t forget and forgive!
Treasonous
Delta Corporation recently usurped Presidential duties when its chairperson Todd Moyo was joined by Bulawayo deputy mayor Councillor Edwin Moyo in treasonously commissioning work on a US$35 million brewhouse upgrading project in the city.
Who doesn’t know that any project worth US$100 000 and above in this country is automatically a ‘national project’ and therefore subject to commissioning by no one other than the Owner of this country?
Surely there is no worse criminal act of undermining of the Office than this mischief! Muck, together with fellow members of the Anti-Presidential Criticism (APC), demand a detailed report (with names of all those involved in this conspiracy), accompanied with an appropriate apology that not only withdraws the false commissioning, but also undertakes to arrange for the real commissioning of the project by the appropriate authority in due course.
Surely such naked rebellion against Ownership cannot be allowed to go uncensored, lest a bad precedence is set!
Presidential … so what?
Still on APC duties, Muck was deeply impressed that Owner, in his accustomed wisdom, has decided to award the hardworking civil servants a Special Presidential Bonus of a hefty US$150.
Instead of celebrating this act of generosity, silly Zimbos are asking questions, such as why everything funded from the public purse is now almost always becoming “presidential” — farming inputs, scholarships, boreholes, menstrual pads, you name it, they all have to reach the people as “presidential”. Silly people. They think he is Owner for nothing?
