MUCKRAKER is also human, so sometimes the temptation to become envious is almost irresistible.
This is the case when it comes to him celebrating the fact that our Owner is now keeping good company when he invests his time hanging around the worthy fellow owners, the likes of China’s Xi Jinping and Russia’s Vladimir Putin.
Why do we say so? Because Xi and Putin are already exploring the possibility of extending important human life to at least 150 years, while full immortality is being explored.
The key word here is “important”. This is for important people only as opposed to the useless Jack and Jills — the Zhuwaos of this world!
Joining this elite league as he has, this may actually mean that our dear Owner could be around for a very long time to come, if not forever.
That would be quite interesting, especially for those miscreants that are always rubbing their palms, with fiendish glee, silently praying for the hands of the biological clock to tick.
Death is scary to many people, including even those that specialise in killing others. So, who is our Owner not to fancy living and, if possible, even ruling forever?
Muck remembers that a few years ago, while officiating at this Bulawayo firm, it was said the last time the political leadership of real substance had visited the firm was 30 years previously, and our Owner pointed out that 30 years was a long time and with a tinge of sadness, admitted that he would no longer be there in 30 years’ time, a poignant admission of his own mortality! That was then — things could be changing and changing very fast.
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A befitting compensation
Just as the possibility of Owner being around a lot much longer is threatening to become a reality, Muckraker’s former fellow sycophant, Cde Daniel Garwe, says it is only fair that our Owner be compensated for the loss of time he suffered while battling Cyclone Idai, Covid-19 and a bout or two of drought — events outside of his own control — that cost him a good four years, and, therefore, entitle him to a compensation in the form of extending his term beyond 2030.
“We can call it an extension of the President’s time in office or compensation because the President lost four years of his time in office through the Cyclone Idai disaster that struck in 2019 and afterwards the Covid-19 pandemic that stymied him from fully implementing his development agenda for the country,” Garwe said.
“The President had to divert US$750 million from other important national development priorities to help manage Cyclone Idai first and then the Covid-19 pandemic.’’
Being an avowed constitutionalist that our Owner has always been, we are sure that he has no problem at all ensuring that this particular provision of the Constitution – which Cde Ziyambi Ziyambi & Co will swear by God himself exists – is duly observed.
In the likely event that something untoward also happens during the four-year extension, another extension cannot be ruled out, even another and another!
Cde Garwe might have forgotten that our Owner also lost 10 years in Rhodesian jails — he might also have to be compensated.
Permanent seat in UNSC
Meanwhile Muck is very disappointed that despite being the best leader there ever was – his transformative chairmanship of Sadc is a living testimony – our Owner this week unleashed a non-permanent member bid for Zimbabwe at the United Nations Security Council - how disappointing?!
Being the best of the very best as shown by the unity, peace, tranquility and wondrous prosperity that sets Zimbabwe apart, we don’t really understand why our Owner decided to restrict his real potential as to gun for a much less powerful position. He ought to have simply made a bid for a permanent seat in the UN Security Council for himself (Zimbabwe), period!
There is no debate whatsoever that under his watch, Zimbabwe has leapt straight into being the most advanced nation in every respect, and surely there is no reason why the country should be denied a permanent seat in the UN Security Council!
The seat would fit perfectly our Owner’s plans to live and rule forever!
We know that there are some killjoys and detractors that would start peddling lies that our Owner is not fit for any position on the UN Security Council because he presides over a divided nation but we all know that nothing of the sort is even remotely true.
Here we are talking of someone who is not only as soft as wool but has also been such a blessing to this country that even the opposition has started campaigning for him to own the country forever!
Silly noises
Talking of ownership of the country, this week some people started making silly noises about a colonial road that is being liberated in Harare.
Some ungrateful individuals are even organising a petition opposing the sale (or is it grabbing?) of Otto Drive in Highlands into private property.
They argue that despite his good rule, Ian Douglas Smith never re-named even a single back alley after himself, let alone try to privatise a whole road. Smith was never a liberator, so why this invidious comparison? Foolish!
The 14 roads named after our Owner are actually too few for a person of his exalted status!
Public edifices should be named after this gallant son of the soil.
He is not called our Owner for decorative purposes for he really owns the country. So, those who are making noises about the matter are just wasting their time… kungovukura… just barking.
“Gombo iri ndarida uye ndichatoririma ndione chinouya!” (I have fallen in love with this virgin piece of land and I will plough it and see what happens!), said Chief Ndyire in Patrick Chakaipa’s 1961 epic novel Pfumo Reropa.
The Owner’s son, whom we are told is the beneficiary of this liberation of Otto Drive has every reason to make the same declaration — he can take whatever he wants by virtue of being one of our Owner’s many, many, many, many, many children.
Being the best of owners doesn’t mean a shortage of critics, in actual fact it means more of them!
The same detractors were complaining that when our Owner goes on his “too many” official junkets abroad, he takes useless people with him, leaving behind captains of industry.
On his recent junket to China, he took with him Cde Chivharo and other captains of industry, and the very same detractors were screaming that he took zvigananda with him. If Cde Chivharo can’t qualify to be a captain of industry, surely who else would?
They even cry tears of blood when first daughter-in-law, Cde Pokello visits Italy to unwind on her 40th birthday. What does that have to do with them?
Only this week, the owners allowed the Zimbabwe Revenue Authority (Zimra) to announce that with immediate effect, presumptive tax of US$60 per kombi per month would be collected via Zimbabwe National Road Administration (Zinara), and the detractors protested.
The next day, our benevolent Owner, being the listening Owner that he always has been, decided to make a wholesale reduction in taxes and fees for the transport sector, these people became sceptical, because being evil people, they don’t expect good from anyone, our Owner included.
These people are just difficult to please. They can continue barking for their supper! Silly people, they even clap hands for this substance addict that calls himself Holy Ten!
Whichever way they may bark, the fact remains that he is our Owner. He really owns the country, so why should some piddling nobodies, who neither have any share, legal right or historic claim to this country try to stop him from doing whatever he and members of his family want?
