HomeAnalysisGet well soon finest coup maker, the gallant fighter

Get well soon finest coup maker, the gallant fighter

“There is no reason for residents to experience water problems, President Mnangagwa acquired borehole equipment which was distributed in all the country’s provinces and will resolve water woes, especially in urban areas . . . Here in Glen View we are going to resuscitate other boreholes which have broken down and drill new ones in strategic points to address the water situation in this area.”

MUCKRAKER joins the entire nation in sending a “get well soon” message to the nation’s Vice-President and our November 2017 liberator, Cde General Constantino Guveya Dominic Nyikadzino Chiwenga.

Twitter: @MuckrakerZim

Across the country, there is a cloud of concern and worry for his welfare, and churches have been holding all-night vigils to pray that he soon returns to the robust health that saw him execute one of the world’s most finest coups.
It was “the world’s coolest coup”, as David Coltart called it in those days when Chiwenga was “General Bae” and the MDC still hopes of being co-opted on the feeding trough.

Days after President Emmerson Mnangagwa told a Zanu PF meeting that General VP was recovering in a South African hospital, George Charamba, the resident propagandist at Munhumutapa Building, dutifully allowed himself some rare truth-telling to release a statement.

“His relocation to China, which builds on the satisfactory recovery progress he has been making, follows weekend discussions at the highest levels between Governments of Zimbabwe and China, at which a decision was taken to allow Chinese medical experts to join their expert counterparts from Zimbabwe, South Africa and India, in attending to the vice president,” Charamba said.

Finally, it is good to see so many countries coming together to help. It is something that this government has failed to do for the country since it came to power.


Speaking of hospitals, we wish to congratulate Justice minister Ziyambi Ziyambi for showing admirable patriotism by choosing a local hospital for his own treatment.
It was reported this week that Ziyambi was admitted to hospital, where he was recovering from what we are told is “acute high blood pressure”.

This was a rare vote of confidence by a senior revolutionary in a local hospital. Yes, it’s a private institution, but even those are not good enough for our owners.

Having been told that it was possible to be treated at home, some chefs were tempted to also get sick here at home. That was until they heard the horrific news from their colleague; there was, apparently, no hot water at the hospital, due to these MDC-led power cuts. What shock and horror!

At that point, any plans that the chefs might have had of falling sick in a local hospital, even a prestigious one, were immediately abandoned. We still need our leaders. We can’t have our leaders risking their lives by engaging in dangerous activities like taking cold showers. Who would be left to take care of the country’s loot?


It was good to finally put figures to the cost of sanctions on the country. ZBC does not call them “debilitating” for nothing.

According to Foreign minister Sibusiso Moyo, appearing before a Parliamentary Committee, “it is estimated, for those who have done the studies, that Zimbabwe has lost an estimated US$42 billion in revenue because of the sanctions”.

SB Moyo went on. “The country lost multilateral donor support, which is estimated at about US$4,5 billion annually since 2001 and US$12 billion in the IMF, World Bank and African Development Bank loans which could have developed infrastructure in this country and commercial loans estimated at US$18 billion which could have gone to the private sector and into other areas and as a result of that, a reduction of GDP of over US$21 billion.”

He did not, however, give a figure on the cost of Zanu PF mismanagement and looting over the last 40 years or so. One suspects it might be well over US$42 billion.

Neither did he mention that failure to access multi-donor support was because of their failure to repay debts and not due to sanctions.

Moyo claimed his figures were sourced from “those who have done studies”, as if there was an academic study. He conveniently neglected to mention the truth; there was no study at all, this was a figure Jonathan Moyo sucked from his nether regions and slapped it into the Zanu PF manifesto in 2013.

The entire claim that SB Moyo repeated in Parliament is, in fact, lifted from that fanciful manifesto. We all know Zanu PF is out of new ideas. We never knew they could run out of new lies.


In Glen View South, Zanu PF is on the campaign trail, vainly trying to find people who will buy its lies.

The party’s political commissar, Victor Matemadanda, was over there campaigning this week.

What did he promise? New modern housing, electricity, service delivery, piped water or any other amenities that are standard in any urban setting the world over? No, he promised to dig wells and boreholes to these urban voters.
“There is no reason for residents to experience water problems, President Mnangagwa acquired borehole equipment which was distributed in all the country’s provinces and will resolve water woes, especially in urban areas,” said Matemadanda.

“Here in Glen View we are going to resuscitate other boreholes which have broken down and drill new ones in strategic points to address the water situation in this area.”

So, in short, Zanu PF’s promise to urban voters is to turn urban areas into rural areas. This is no big surprise. As a party, Zanu PF has no message for urban youths. All they know is the old tried and tested strategy of keeping people as poor as possible, then throwing crumbs to make themselves look good. Zanu PF denies rural voters the right to clean, piped water, then forces them to sing and dance for boreholes. It’s a strategy that has worked in rural areas, and now Zanu PF is trying to replicate it in towns.

We might as well get rid of mayors in the cities, and appoint chiefs and headmen.

Judicial gymnastics

That the state media would not know impartiality if it hit them in the face is not a secret. However, the toxic
levels of propaganda have proved to be too much even for our esteemed judiciary.

The Zimbabwe Broadcasting Cooperation (ZBC) and Zimbabwe Newspapers (1980) through their titles The Herald, The Chronicle, among others, were found to have failed to live up to their constitutional obligations by a High Court judge, Justice Joseph Mafusire.

In a matter that was opposed by both Zimpapers and ZBC, Justice Mafusire ruled in favour Fitinne Trust and two others, who argued that the media groups were heavily biased in their reportage and failed to accommodate dissenting views, violating the constitution.

“It is hereby declared that ZBC and Zimpapers have conducted themselves in material breach of section 61 of the Constitution in that they have not been impartial and free to determine independently the editorial content of their broadcasts or other communication and they have not afforded fair opportunity for the presentation of divergent views and dissenting opinions,” part of a July 19 judgment released yesterday at the Masvingo High Court reads.

This is a damning indictment on state media who have made sunshine journalism their stock in trade.

However, Muckraker knows that despite being instructed to be impartial in its conduct, the state media will continue their fictitious and biased reportage.

Expecting the state media to stop parroting the government line no matter how bizarre and give voice to dissenting views is akin to expecting snow in hell!

Terror monopoly the preserve of big brother

Zanu PF this week denounced the MDC for trying to use violence to get its way.

Addressing journalists at Zanu PF headquarters, the party’s spokesman, Simon Khaya Moyo, said the ruling party was concerned by the MDC’s use of violence in its “doomed unconstitutional regime change agenda”.

According to Moyo, the MDC’s “penchant for violent protests led to the death and injury of innocent Zimbabweans and destruction of property running into millions of dollars”.

In short, SK Moyo was angry because the MDC is trying to steal Zanu PF tactics. We understand his anger. We all know violence and destruction are patented methods of political campaigning for Zanu PF, and it is only natural that they should be angry should another party try to break their monopoly on violence.

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