“Mnangagwa’s kwashiorkor economics will surely deepen the country’s economic crisis and ensure that his aim to make the country a middle-income economy by 2030 remains a pipedream.”
WITH just over a week left to the elections, more and more people are losing their minds. This happens every five years, guaranteed.
Academics shed off their already false claims to intellectual integrity and also start losing it. Journalists too aren’t immune to this plague. On all sides you look, journalists are losing their minds too like the rest of us. Politicians, many of whom lose their minds most of the time anyway, get even worse.
Over at the Herald House, it’s not getting any better. This week, the nation’s favourite comic book revealed to the world that President Emmerson Mnangagwa had broken some national records on road reconstruction.
Wrote The Herald: “Treasury-funded road construction projects have gone up this year by over 200 percent when compared to the previous political administration and at least 50% when compared to the Rhodesian administration,” The Herald can reveal.
“President Mnangagwa’s administration’s record-breaking road construction and rehabilitation programme is literally laying the ground for massive economic investment following the signing of mega deals worth over US$20 billion.”
This must have come as shocking news to all the motorists still having to deal with potholes, congestion and road carnage due to dilapidated roads.
It’s a huge shock to the motorist who still has to spend hours at the “Mbudzi Roundabout”, because someone chowed the money for what was originally meant to be an overpass and built a tiny traffic circle instead.
Even more astounded must be the Rhodesians, whatever remains of that lot. Almost 40 years after Rhodesians — who left the economy and infrastructure intact — were driven by the comrades from office, how is it the comrades are still using them as a benchmark for anything?
You know something is wrong when you are still competing with a bully you last fought, and last saw, in school four decades ago.
It was reported recently that the City Council had set aside US$4 million for the rehabilitation of VVIP roads, meaning roads used by the President and his two deputies. We have also been told how smooth the road to his Kwekwe farm is.
Obviously it is hard to understand bad roads when you travel either by helicopter, or glide to work on smooth roads, sitting in the back seat of a Mercedes S600 Maybach with its road-sensing adaptive airmatic suspension.
Of course, we cannot have our most important people bothered by bumps on the roads. What sort of country would we be?
Muckraker has no kind words for all these people who continue to work hard against our faith in the “New Dispensation”.
The latest to do so was a unit of the Fifth Brigade, which carried out an eviction of a farmer in Kwekwe last week.
Just this week, in a meeting with farmers in Chinhoyi, President Emmerson Mnangagwa declared that land invasions were a thing of the past.
Well, the past in this case was only a week ago. According to reports, a whole army platoon was sent in to evict the farmer, an elderly clergyman called Isaac Moyo. His farm is next to the President’s farm at Sherwood. Bishop Trevor Manhanga has also been a victim.
This has happened many times before since last November. Each time our reformist President makes a speech to promise the world that things have changed, someone goes out there to prove him wrong for some reason.
When he preaches against corruption, one of his ministers delivers dirty airplanes from Asia. When he preaches peace, some thug in a T-shirt with the President’s face on it runs into the street with a pistol in his hand and the cheapest Mbare weed in his head.
When the President tells us that we are now open to investors, hordes of Zanu PF thugs wearing T-shirts bearing the President’s face are swiftly on hand to invade and take over Gaika Mine, owned by a private investor, in the President’s home town.
Surely the President must by now deal with this obvious ploy by our enemies to discredit him at every turn, lest we the povo begin to think it’s true what his critics say: that he is all talk and no action.
Meanwhile, over at the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission (Zec), these same enemies are obviously holding commissioners hostage, forcing them to deny Mnangagwa a legitimate electoral victory.
Only people sent by enemies to undermine our dear President could be so arrogant in their refusal to run an election that is as clean as he has promised.
Look here. The man invites observers from all over the world. He even manages to keep Zanu PF’s violent hounds on a leash, for a whole eight months.
Anyone who has come across that bunch knows how hard it is to keep them away from their favourite hobby of maiming and killing. It takes a monumental effort to control them.
Mnangagwa has even made sure that the opposition freely campaigns in areas that, under his predecessor Robert Mugabe, were basically independent republics run by heavily inebriated Zanu PF militiamen.
He has done all this, only to be undone by an arrogant Zec that refuses to do simple things, such as allowing the MDC Alliance to test its theory that ink can jump from one corner of a ballot to another.
Surely, why can’t Zec allow the MDC Alliance to demonstrate this theory before TV cameras, if not for transparency’s sake, then for our entertainment?
What does it hurt Zec to simply call in the MDC Alliance and give them mattresses next to the printing presses at Fidelity?
Surely, we all know the MDC Alliance’s conspiracy theories are foolish, right? Come on, Zec. Do the nation a favour and let them be foolish in public. Muckraker, for one, is curious to see an X move.
And what was that entire mess at Ross Camp in Bulawayo? How hard was it for Zec to simply inform we the masses what was happening? And what’s with all the incoherent messages coming from all sorts of Zec commissioners? There’s obviously a plot afoot.
Can all you people please stop plotting to deny our President a clear and uncontested win with all your needless and stubborn arrogance? We extend the same appeal to comrades at the Herald. Allow the opposition some space. Given the size of your readership, we can assure you that not many people will notice.
The decision by Mnangagwa to award a 22,5% pay hike to the security forces before awarding a 17,5% special allowance to all civil servants, an obvious vote buying gimmick, has rubbished Finance minister Patrick Chinamasa’s declaration in the 2018 National Budget that government will cut spending.
It begs the question: where will the money come from? Just like his predecessor, Mugabe, Mnangagwa has shown that he is a stranger to the basics of economics especially when the issue of power is at stake.
With no sense of irony, Chinamasa revealed that the wage bill will gobble up 120% of revenue with the pay increment awarded to workers. It makes a mockery of the claim that this incompetent lot are part of the so called new dispensation.
The irony, of course, is that in newspaper adverts this week Mnangagwa is arguing that he deserves to be elected because he puts the economy first before politics. The latest move by Mnangagwa to hike salaries for government workers at a time it is burdened by a US$2 billion budget deficit is in stark contrast to his advert message.
Mnangagwa’s kwashiorkor economics will surely deepen the country’s economic crisis and ensure that his aim to make the country a middle-income economy by 2030 remains a pipedream.
Reminder to ZBC World Cup is over
That the state broadcaster, Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation, has become a byword for cluelessness and incompetence is well-known.
However, this week they plunged to new lows even by their dreadful standards. The Zanu PF mouthpiece this week was advertising the Fifa World Cup which ended on Sunday — to the astonishment and bemusement of viewers.
This is why paying ZBC television licence fees always feels like a broad daylight mugging.