AS the quintessential constitutionalist that he has always been, our Owner has started mobilising “The Party’s” structures to ensure that it romps to yet another run-away victory in 2028.
It is important to point it out here and now that, constitutionally, this is supposed to be our Owner’s second and final term. And from his repeated pronouncements, it so evident that he is itching to look forward to the day he would be addressed as “Our Former Owner”.
That is what all constitutionalists do — they abide by the letter and spirit of the founding documents. On paper — that is, on the drawing board — things are supposed to be that simple, smooth and straightforward. But on the ground, in the lived realities of life, it is never that simple.
In this case, even when the constitution is very clear and straightforward, there comes “The People”, who — after tasting our Owner’s milk-and-honey ownership skills — no longer want to be separated from him. To this effect, at “The Party’s” conference in Bulawayo last year, a resolution was duly passed by “The People” that our Owner defiles the constitution so as to extend his Ownership ad infinitum.
In the aftermath of this conference resolution, even more of “The People”, that is, Cde Sengezo Tshabangu together with the whole motley crew that make up the Political Actors Dialogue (Polad), joined “The Party” in urging him to keep going on beyond any beyond, since they say he is the best miracle this country has ever seen.
But being the constitutionalist that our Owner has always been, is and will always be, he is reluctant to desecrate the supreme law of the land.
He has never done so before, and he is clearly unavailable for that, which brings the country to the impending ownership crisis that it is threatened with.
So what will he do? Tear the constitution and follow “The People,” or follow the constitution and literally show “The People,” who lionise him, the middle finger?
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This is the dilemma that our Owner now faces: to go on and abide by the constitution or to yield to the urgent demand of “The People”? These are the cruel horns of a dilemma that not even evil Muckraker himself would ever wish on the worst of his enemies, not even for a nanosecond!
Sometimes indecision can be the best decision, just waiting for things to go whichever way they choose to go, because either way one is damned.
Maybe that could be the best strategy for our hapless Owner in his case. Surely, he cannot be seen to be disobeying “The People”, who summoned him from the safety of exile in November 2017 to come and — per force — be their Owner. Yet, as a constitutionalist, he cannot be seen to be indulging in unconstitutionalism of any sort.
This is a typical case where the situation should be left to decide for itself.
In a desperate attempt to blackmail him into giving in to their unconstitutional demands, “The People” are becoming increasingly unreasonable. You even hear some of them stridently arguing that “The People” are more important than the constitution.
They point to our Owner’s past. The constitution never allowed him to get military training for the express purpose of fighting for the liberation of this country, but “The People” wanted him to do it, so he decided to ignore the constitution and go along with “The People’s” wishes.
And for that decision, we are forever thankful for the swashbuckling hero that our Owner is to this day.
So “The People” have not gone away (yet). They are still around and this time they are demanding that he do away with the constitution with its pesky two five-year term limits. They just want him to be their Owner in perpetuity — whichever way, they do not care!
Then there are those detractors who cannot see all the good that our Owner has delivered, anything and everything, who fancy their own chances of (maybe) becoming our Owners too.
They want him to go like yesterday. They even unfairly accuse him of being a “recidivist constitutional delinquent” (whatever that is supposed to mean!), who is even urinating on his own Party’s constitution by juggling some politburo appointments. Yet, according to the “correct” version of “The Party’s” constitution, he is allowed to do even much more than that — as if he is called our Owner for nothing!
So this is the dilemma: the constitution or “The People”?
Silly detractors!
This week our Owner unveiled the first batch of 700 vehicles for senior army officers. And his detractors were not amused. They started comparing the numbers, drawing parallels with the 10 ambulances that were recently bought from alleged proceeds of crime.
Most of them were heard swearing that the cars are part of desperate efforts to mollify the military and pre-empt anything remotely similar to the mischief of November 2017.
And the reported sight of armoured cars in some northern suburbs did not help matters! Some of them even claimed that the new cars have hidden surveillance equipment to monitor these officers’ possible treasonous conversations and movements.
We know all this is just nonsense, just as the Blessed Geza and Temba Mliswa waffles. Our armed forces are disciplined and professional! We also know that our soldiers are not deployed to guard the places that Chinese nationals are invading in villages in search of minerals.
Enforcement spirit
We are made to believe the Harare City Council, under the able leadership of Cde Jacob Mafume, has finally remembered to bring sanity to the capital city — that was supposed to attain world-class standards this year — by closing down commercial properties found not to be compliant with the regulations.
That is highly commendable. We hope this exercise also extends to the city’s own many offices, from Town House right through to all the district offices, including other council facilities such as schools, clinics, libraries and such infrastructure that some people think are actually worse than the private commercial properties the city’s law enforcement agents are currently raiding.
Surely, there is no justice in enforcing standards on others when the city’s own facilities are in a worse state. Who said charity begins at home?
Now that the city is in an enforcement mood, how about it also does something about the dangerous noise levels that are in obvious violation of the city’s by-laws?
If Cde Mafume & Co cannot provide water, lights, toilets, etc. — which cost money they have other better personal uses for — at least they can make lots more from extorting individuals and businesses that openly flout noise pollution levels.
One cannot answer or make a phone call and engage in a decent conversation, even in the privacy of their own office in the CBD, because of the noisy music played on shop fronts and other places — as if the city has become some rural growth point where by-laws do not even exist.
Those bribe-takers who risk life and limb chasing pirate taxis can actually make a killing more easily from the hundreds of businesses that have resorted to noise purportedly to draw customers to their premises.
Unlike other services that take money from Cde Mafume & Co’s insatiable pockets, this one actually brings in more — to them and to the back pockets of those doing the enforcement on the ground. So there should be no excuse on this one.
