The Zanu PF politburo has endorsed the results of the recently held cutthroat elections for provincial chairpersons. That was to be expected. What is that grandiose body anyway but a group of people ready to rubberstamp the wishes of No. 1?
But in spite of the endorsement, it was made clear that the ruling party is hardly the united all-conquering machine it purports to be. The elections, commentators say, showed just how wide the rift between No. 1 and No. 2 is. It was clear No. 2 has made major inroads in the provinces and the elections showed he could challenge for the leadership of the party any time soon.
Remember, calls for an elective congress are simmering underground. But No. 1, with a straight face and the usual trademark gap-toothed smile, has lived to fight another day. How much longer he will stand is open to conjecture.
But is No. 2 ready to rule? Some would say, not yet! Not before he has sorted out the mess in his backyard. If the way he is ruling his household is the way he intends to rule out teapot, then we have every reason to get worried. Very worried.
Everyone should baulk at the way he has treated his estranged wife Marry and the children he has denied access to their mother. It seems he knows next to nothing about soft power, yet it is soft power that endears leaders to their subjects.
So the by-election dates have been set through another Statutory Instrument! Good and fair.
Muckraker expects another statutory instrument soon. This time it will proclaim that those who were recalled from parliament and from local government chambers cannot stand in the elections. Everyone fears the humiliation that could come with these by-elections.
What if the former MPs and councillors are re-elected? No. 1’s heroic attempt to kill the opposition will be left lying in shards on the floor. Poor Doggie would have so much egg in the face he could just take a rope and tie himself to a tall tree and kick away the bucket.
Polad too would be revealed to be the great idea it is. But, if the just-ended ruling party elections are anything to go by, the by-elections will be as peaceful as any war could be.
What’s happening along the Limpopo River must be very gratifying for our leaders. Hundreds upon hundreds of our people are trying to escape all the happiness that our rich country is providing to that bad country where they are called makwerekwere and are burnt on the stake like witches.
Several are drowning in the long river. Nothing, not a word from our owner on what he intends to do to stop people from leaving the land of milk and honey.
And, what is that august body called Sadc saying about it? This week the leaders of this section of our continent are assembling virtually in Lilongwe. If they cared a hoot about what’s happening in Mozambique, they would be able to see the possible beginnings of another Cabo Delgado between the Zambezi and the Limpopo.
Cabo Delgado is happening because the people there are dying poor in the middle of plenty. The region in northern Mozambique is known for its riches, but only foreigners are enjoying them, hence the insurgency.
Same as in Zimbabwe, people are running away from poverty in a country so-well-endowed of riches. How much longer will they stand it?
What exactly is happening in Muzarabani? Everyday Zimbabweans read stories about near breakthroughs in that area. They read about the possibilities of the discovery of vast wells of oil and gas. But some say Muzarabani is just another Chinhoyi and Invictus just another Rotina Mavhunga.
Others say there is no oil there and everyone knows it. They allege that what is at stake is in fact the yellow metal which is in abundance there and is already finding its way out of the country, presumably to Oz.
Whatever the truth may be, time will tell.
While still in Muzarabani, why would anyone be exploring fossil fuels which face a ban due to their effects on climate change? Invictus, which is said to be quoted on the Australian Stock Exchange, should know the futility of this better than everyone else.
And now to our dear Warriors! Our dear son-in-law has remained adamant that the national football controlling body Zifa remains fired despite well-known rules of the International Football Federation that governments don’t interfere in the running of football.
What this means is that our national football team might be chucked out of the biennial jamboree. Our boys are already in Cameroon.
Imagine the humiliation if they are told to get on the plane and leave. Cry, the cursed country.