IT has been a week of noise and protests by people opposed to the displacement of thousands of people in Chilonga, Chiredzi, to make way for a project to grow grass for stock feed.
The noise makers included the people of Chilonga, but mostly a pile of NGOs and opposition leaders who descended on Chiredzi to take pictures for their annual reports to donors. Even after many government mandarins were sent out to explain, nobody listened.
And so, our owners met and came up with a bright idea. They would simply change the wording of the statutory instrument.
So, just by shifting from telling us that the Chilonga land would be taken for “irrigation”, and not for “Lucerne grass” as originally stated, people would not notice that thousands of people will still be evicted.
It is a mystery why people are opposed to this national project. Why don’t people realise that kicking people out of their homes is good for them?
The nation salutes all the government apologists who worked overtime to make sure that people understand why evictions are good for the nation.
Who would have ever imagined Zanu PF defending the eviction of blacks in favour of a white farmer? These are the Open for Business reforms we have been crying for under the New Dispensation.
According to the Herald, the country’s finest news source, there is nothing to cry about here. Reporting on the changes to the Chiredzi SI, the paper said: “No family will be displaced, but some could have their houses shifted a short distance to pave way for the erection of key infrastructure.”
In other words, nobody will be removed from their homes, but some people will be removed from their homes. We all hope that clears things up and people can now stop worrying.
Did we not see how the movement of people from Chiadzwa, Chingwizi, Chisumbanje and other lands benefitted the nation as a whole?
Speaking on matters of national interest, it was heart-warming to hear the government saying that its Covid-19 strategy is all based on science.
“Minister (Monica) Mutsvangwa said government was following science, as well as the submissions of experts,” the Herald reported.
Which is why, no doubt, the country’s foremost scientist on things to do with Covid-19, Auxillia Mnangagwa, held a meeting with health workers this week to share her expertise. How lucky those health professionals are.
While the nation was still reeling from her wisdom on Covid-19, she was not done. The next moment, we saw her in Bindura holding what we were told was a “Cook-out Traditional Meal competition”, which was “part of efforts to unlock the nutritional and medicinal benefits of indigenous foods to the nation”.
Honestly, is there a more blessed country than Zimbabwe out there? Where else do we have experts who gather large crowds of people to teach them about preventing the spread of coronavirus?
There was more good news on the Covid-19 front.
It was reported that, in addition to frontline healthcare workers, government had extended the vaccination rollout to another critical sector of the workforce — the families of government ministers.
According to reports, Tawanda and Tinotenda Mutsvangwa, sons of the Information minister, posted pictures of themselves taking vaccines. They then took videos of themselves celebrating their jabs at a bar in Borrowdale.
One wonders why people complained. As George Charamba told the nation, we cannot just vaccinate the mother. We must also vaccinate the whole family.
“You cannot isolate one person for purposes of vaccination by leaving out the rest of her household, itself her existential universe,” Charamba said.
Nurses and doctors will be surprised to hear that they were entitled to bring along their whole clan when they went for their vaccinations.
Muckraker was surprised to see an article on the front page of The Herald speaking out against church leader Emmanuel Makandiwa for his “quackery” on vaccines.
The paper rightly criticised Makandiwa for his sermons in which he has spread harmful conspiracies against vaccines, such as claiming that the vaccines contain microchip implants.
What The Herald did not state is that the one of the experts on the government panel advising our leaders on Covid-19, Wilfred Muteweye, is also the chief medical advisor at Makandiwa’s church. One is curious to know which side he is advising exactly.
Anyway, it is refreshing to see The Herald shutting down liars. The newspaper hates such competition.
There was shock this week after MDC-Alliance vice-president Tendai Biti ranted about Chipinge people being witches. He posted that in a legal brawl with Lovemore Madhuku. The shock wasn’t that he said such a thing. The shock was that people were shocked.
Who forgets his “Gumbura” insults on Morgan Tsvangirai, or the time he insulted people of Marange over polygamy? Besides, childish insults is a hallmark of Zimbabwean politics. It is what supporters expect. Any politician who doesn’t use insults is seen as soft and useless. In Zimbabwe, insults are a qualification. So, people should leave Biti and his potty mouth alone. He is just showing that he is ready for higher office.