Govt’s big send-off for the dead

So the government has decided to give a black handshake of US$500 to the family of any civil servant that passes on.

The offer, which was confirmed by both Information secretary Nick Mangwana and Labour minister Paul Mavima, was approved by the government midweek.

“Starting immediately, the government will pay an equivalent of US$500 in funeral assistance for any civil servant who passes away,” Mangwana said in a tweet on Wednesday.

Great! The Egyptians used to do it! They would mummify their dead pharaohs and entomb them with all their gold and silver to enjoy in the hereafter.

But for our poor civil servants the money will not be for the afterlife but for the remaining spouse and dependants. Imagine what a teacher, used to earning US$30 a month, could do with such a windfall!

Overheard a civil servant couple chatting in not so friendly tones:

“I can’t wait to lay my hands on the Nick Mangwana 500,” says one.

“Me neither!” says the other.

Muckraker thinks this won’t end well.

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