Donors can keep HIV drugs, we’ve Magaya’s concoction!

Magaya.jpg

THIS week, the world stood in awe and admiration of Zimbabwe as The Great Prophet Walter Magaya announced that he had succeeded where many nations, including developed ones, have failed: finding a cure for Aids and cancer.

MUCKRAKER
Twitter: @MuckrakerZim

For years, the world has sought a cure for these diseases in vain. Billions have been spent by powerful nations trying to find a cure. In fact, Muckraker read a report that says between 2000 and 2015, the world spent a trillion dollars on the HIV pandemic, from trying to find a cure to treatment. America spends US$26 billion a year on this problem.

All these well-funded labs they have in America, Britain and other G7 nations, failed — only for the cure to be found right here at Zindoga. Imagine, of all places.

As some haters in the Good Book asked, “what good could come out of Nazareth?”, we now have modern-day detractors asking what good could come out of Zindoga. Now we have all manner of people, such as pharmacists and doctors, who are going after The Great Prophet doubting his cure? What do pharmacists and doctors know about medicine?

Zimbabwe gets some US$500 million from donors every year to fight Aids and other diseases. We are happy to announce that donors can now keep their money. We have Aguma now, the cure. As for the Aids levy, which is deducted from workers’ salaries, it raises over US$30 million annually. Good news: we don’t even have to pay that tax anymore.

The Doubting Thomases at Muckraker’s rather dry watering hole, however, are still confused as to why we still have so many problems in the country, when Magaya took all of them and carried them off to Israel in his satchel.

Miracle cure

There has, predictably, been widespread condemnation of Magaya’s snake-oil medication. The Zimbabwe Hospital Doctors’ Association, the National Aids Council, the Retail Pharmacists’ Association, and even the US embassy as well as the UN representative in Zimbabwe, among many other faithless detractors, have rubbished the miracle cure.

Thank heaven for the group of journalists, brimming with faith, that have called on the authorities to give Magaya’s concoction a chance. The fact that, in medicine, it is not for the authorities to test every claim from a drug manufacturer, but that it is in fact up to the manufacturer to put their product through the process, is not something a journalist is required to bother with.

It was pleasing to hear the Ministry of Health saying it does not tolerate fake things. Great. We now await news on the Health minister Obediah Moyo’s qualifications. We can’t have people walking around claiming he is just as phoney as Magaya’s herbs.

Economic genius

Muckraker was delighted to read in the state media that basic goods were already flooding the market, just two days after the government announced, in a masterstroke of economic genius, that imports were now allowed.

This is the sort of quick economic turnaround we have been begging President Emmerson Mnangagwa to pull off for the past year.

Now, since Mnangagwa still insisted that the bond note or RTGS is at par with the US dollar, we wait to see how grocers that buy goods in foreign currency will be able to sell them for bond notes and transfers. That will be yet another chapter for Zanu PF, which has re-written the world’s books on economic management with its miracle economic cures.

And what better way for ZBC to show the world that there is no hunger in Zimbabwe than to send Rueben Barwe to report on food? The only thing that might be a problem is if he tried to demonstrate the belt tightening we have all been instructed to do by the country’s owners.
Let’s all tighten our belts!

Chamisa’s invisible flame

The nation was overjoyed last weekend when pigeons were seen on the head of the leader of the opposition, Nelson Chamisa. He also managed to light a flame, which for some reason was invisible.

The best account of the entire affair was in a local daily, which dutifully reported that “as he delivered his speech, four doves flew over his head catching his attention and that of his supporters who thronged Gwanzura Stadium”. As for the flame, the paper went on, Chamisa had to “rely on his supporters’ feedback to tell him that the flame had successfully been lit owing to the poor vision caused by the sweltering October sun”.

The Herald is clearly not alone in the business of fiction writing.

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3 thoughts on “Donors can keep HIV drugs, we’ve Magaya’s concoction!”

  1. eddie says:

    I was diagnose April 17,2015 and find out I’m HIV positive.I was scared because there is no cure for HIV/AIDS but today some people still don’t believe that there is cure for HIV, it can only be cured through Africans root and herbs,and our doctor’s here in USA few of them know’s about the African herbal medicine can cure Hiv but they chooses to hide it from us just to make a sales of ARV DRUGS. I did a research online finding way to get rid of my disease,I saw a comment about a herbal doctor on internet Name Dr Ekiadola ,who has cured several disease with his powerful herbal medicine, I contacted him on whats-app, chat with him explain my self to him.He said he can cure hiv perfectly well , he gave me his request which i send to him. within 5 days he sent me the herbal medicine through ups courier delivering service And told me how to take the medicine for 7days to get cured,I did for 7days, within this 7days i notice a very big change in my health and i knew something great has happened then i went to confirm my result it was absolutely negative.The doctor who knew i was hiv positive was asking me how come i am negative, what did it took to get cure and were did i get this medicine from and how did i get rid of it I told him everything [about the herbal medicine that cure me. imagine doctor telling me not to let anyone know about it,I wasn’t shock though i knew they know about the herbal cure but chose to hide it in other to make sales on ARV DRUGS,if you are HIV positive or sickness like HPV,HEPATITISB,DIABETICS,CANCER,HERPES,FIBROIDS,ASTHMA,SICKLE CELL,PENIS ENLARGEMENT AND INFECTIONS. please contact my savior on his email email @ ekiadolaherbalhome@gmail.com or whatsapp or call on +2349060461437

  2. Jedediah Songwe says:

    Con men are not only fought at the ConCourt. Even in churches there are plenty of them including Walter Magaya.

  3. Jeff says:

    Happiness is all i see now I never thought that I will be cured from HERPES virus again. I have been suffering from a deadly disease (HERPES) for the past 3 years now, I had spent a lot of money going from one places to another, from churches to churches, hospitals have been my home every day residence. Constant checks up have been my hobby not until this faithful day, I was searching through the internet, I saw a testimony on how Dr Onoja helped someone in curing his HERPES disease, quickly I copied his email which is Dr.onojaspelltemple@gmail.com just to give him a test I spoke to him, he asked me to do some certain things which I did, he told me that he is going to provide the herbal cure to me, which he did, then he asked me to go for medical checkup after some days after using the herbal cure, behold I was free from the deadly disease, he only asked me to post the testimony through the whole world, faithfully am doing it now, please brothers and sisters, he is great, I owe him in return. If you are having a similar problem just email him on ( Dr.onojaspelltemple@gmail.com ) or you can whatsApp his mobile number on +2348142559061

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