The state-controlled press can often be amusing without actually realising it.
Last weekend the Sunday Mail published an editorial which said: “with the right policies in place, the dream of food self-sufficiency is a dream that is well within our reach.”
The key material here is of course “with the right policies in place”.
The delusional editor continues with: “Neighbouring Zambia, experiencing pretty much the same climatic conditions as Zimbabwe, is managing to produce grain that is enough for its populace and more. Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Namibia, Malawi, South Africa and Botswana could well all turn to Zambia for grain imports this year because that country has found the right mix to spur productivity.
Zambia is doing something right and Zimbabwe could do well to find out what it is …”
Is this supposed to be ironic? Zambia’s output can largely be attributed to Zimbabwean commercial farmers who placed their services at the disposal of the government in Lusaka when it became obvious Zimbabwe couldn’t manage its own farming properly. Zambia now has a robust and diverse agricultural sector.
Then the Sunday Mail publishes an editorial saying we must all emulate Zambia.
Very funny! Perhaps the editorial staff at the Sunday Mail are too busy thinking up epithets to hurl at the Independent press so as to concentrate properly on food security which was their topic for last Sunday. And whose agenda is it to rant about newspapers discussing cabinet business? Is it not the business of newspapers to ascertain as much as they can about whatever the government is doing? Is that not their business? Or do they prefer to spend their time talking about “the lunatic fringe”.
All the lunatics we know are in Munhumutapa Building.
Muckraker was appalled by the attack on Garissa university in northern Kenya, by Al-Shabaab, which resulted in 140 casualties. But what surprised us was the inability of students to speak elementary English and this was supposed to be an English medium institution.
What is this Garissa university? It looks almost non-existent in Kenya’s scrubland. So while we express sadness to the parents and other relatives, we should also ask what courses it offers and who actually runs the place!
Elsewhere, it is shocking to think our higher education system has come to this — throwing “pooh” over statues, and then the vice-chancellor and his staff immediately surrender. How pathetic! Rhodes needs to be judged by the circumstances of his time, not ours.
Rudyard Kipling wrote his epitaph: “The great and brooding spirit shall quicken and control, living he was the land and dead his soul shall be its soul.”
Zanu PF decried the low turnout in Hurungwe West primary elections, blaming the party’s ousted MP Temba Mliswa for instigating the “wrong ideology” in the masses.
Is Mliswa the problem or is it the ruling party that is failing to see the writing on the wall? If elections were to be held in a free environment, the likelihood Mliswa would triumph is high.
Imposing candidates under the false pretext of democracy, which the secretary for administration Ignatius Chombo calls “extravagant democracy”, is the only way Zanu PF can survive the electoral axe.
The shocking disparity of 3000 voters registered recently and the 19 000 registered in 2013 is a clear indication to tell Zanu PF that ordinary members are no longer interested in its political hogwash.
Zanu PF is in denial and, surprisingly, is prepared to use intimidating tactics to silence dissent. The development is nothing new to Zimbabweans; the party has always been poisoning the well, saying everyone who doesn’t subscribe to the whims of its leaders is a sellout. Mliswa, who seems to be standing his ground, declaring he will contest as an independent candidate, is at great risk to his life — he should be prepared to face the wrath of Zanu PF or even shed blood for his political adventure.
The Standard this week quoted Mliswa as saying: “As you can see in 2013 I had more than 9 000 votes — a clear indication that if they are failing to mobilise their own members, what more other voters from parties like MDC.”
Isn’t voter apathy a sign of rebellion and discontent among the electorate? Can Zanu PF thugs just look on and fold arms as Mliswa seeks to redeem himself from doom associated with the violent ruling party?
Muckraker believes he hasn’t yet started feeling the heat, unless he makes an unsuspected U-turn to claim he was a lost sheep and rejoins Zanu PF. Unimaginable though.
The Herald has invented a new discourse and now calls the Daily News a Mujuru mouthpiece. That’s perplexing. Does the state-controlled newspaper want to have every publication to regurgitate the nonsensical propaganda associated with Zanu PF on a daily basis? Is it not true that even during the liberation struggle, guerrilla fighters (not fake war veterans) relied on media outlets like Moto, Parade, and the African Daily News to counter cheap Rhodesia Herald propaganda that supported the Ian Smith’s regime.
Noting the Herald only changed its masters but not its modus operandi, Zimbabwe definitely needs the private media to expose the rot in government. Why does the Herald pretend it’s no mouthpiece of Zanu PF when all its reporters are Zanu PF correspondents?
The Daily News is simply doing its job; Mujuru exists and still matters in national politics. Zimbabwe can’t rely on a single publication that only knows how to prop up the First Family and a party that has ruined the economy. Actually Zimpapers should relocate and operate from Zanu PF headquarters.
Former Nigerian president Goodluck (now Badluck) Jonathan conceded defeat in recent elections in which Muhammadu Buhari emerged the winner.
Jonathan’s gestrure was hailed as a noble move considering Nigeria has a sad history of coups and counter coups. Some hoped President Robert Mugabe could learn from Jonathan, but that will not happen to someone who sees himself as a deity destined to rule for life. Forget about Mugabe conceding defeat, he must be really dismayed by the way political situations are revolving in Africa. With Zanu PF still in power Nikuv will continue to play its part.
Toying with legacy
We alluded earlier to events at UCT. Now President Robert Mugabe has been toying with Rhodes legacy.
“We in Zimbabwe had forgotten about Cecil Rhodes until South Africa said it has his statue in Cape Town, where he was the Prime minister of the Cape and mischievously wanted to also take control of Zimbabwe,” said Mugabe.
“We have his corpse, you can keep his statue,” he added, causing South African President Jacob Zuma and the 20 cabinet ministers from both governments to break out in laughter.