Muckraker: ‘Gushing’ stampede by non-performers

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February 21 in Zimbabwe is invariably a period of distasteful “gushing”, mainly by non-performing parastatals that want to get noticed.

Top of the gushing list for Gushungo was Zinara which told the country “We love you Mr President”.

This outfit presides over dangerously pot-holed roads which were once the pride of the nation.

“We proudly join the entire Zimbabwean family in celebrating the birth of our Nationalist leader, Father and Visionary Guardian, His Excellency the President of the Republic of Zimbabwe and Commander-in-Chief of the Zimbabwe Defence Forces, Cde Robert Mugabe.”

If this nauseating display were not enough, Zinara thanked God for “giving you the wisdom, strength and courage to lead our beautiful country.”
Barf! How sickening can bootlicking get?

Scary

Beautiful? Has the author of this slimy grovelling and lickspittle indulgence been anywhere in Zimbabwe recently?

If so he might have experienced the sorry — or is it scary — conditions on out roads which have led to death and destruction. But that hasn’t stopped Zinara declaring: “Driven to make you drive well”.

Having got over this exercise in nationalist posturing, newspapers were subject to adverts along the following lines: “United we stand, divided we fall”.

Clearly the author of this facile foolishness is unaware of what happened to their revolutionary icon on arrival at the airport from Ethiopia two weeks ago. Accidents do happen. In their ads the First Lady Grace Mugabe is described as “principled”. We could think of something else!

Wrong way

The Zimbabwe Tourism Authority says Zimbabwe’s destination status remains “largely negative”.

Efforts are underway to create a positive perception of the country, ZTA CEO Karigoka Kaseke blithely says. “So we are still in the negative era,” Kaseke said.

“We would like to boost the image of Zimbabwe from negative to positive,” he said, identifying a number of projects aimed at improving the country’s image.

What Kaseke doesn’t understand is that events such as the president’s birthday where large amounts of money were transferred to Zanu PF when the country was at its most vulnerable, is not the right policy for recovery.

Diplomats based here have pointed out that Grace Mugabe’s depredations were absolutely the wrong way to go about attracting investment.

How can FDI be mobilised when the Mugabe family help themselves to property? Anybody know what happened to Kondozi? The president is a brand we were told this week. Cleaning out his Augean stable might be a start.

Unpretty

Western leaders have a rule about eating in public. They don’t do it. You can see why. It does nothing for their public relations.

Marie-Antoinette discovered this the hard way when she asked why Parisians didn’t eat cake when confronted by a bread shortage.

Pictures of Mugabe shovelling cake down his gullet were not a pretty sight in the local press. And he should have let others go first. He evidently likes cake but shouldn’t make it too obvious.

Zanu PF is publishing the names of mothers whose babies were born on Febuary 21 or thereabouts. We have so far heard of a Robert and a Gabriel. But we are expecting a Tyran (French) and a Napoleon.

Omnipotent

We had a good chuckle over the front page story in Southern Eye on Tuesday.

It read “Mugabe our God”. Zanu PF praise singing had reached a zenith, the paper told us. We have Environment minister Saviour Kasukuwere to thank for this madness.

“There is only one Zanu PF and it is the one that is led by our God, President Robert Mugabe,” Kasukuwere grovelled at a meeting of Auxillia Mnangagwa’s supporters.

Can he not see how distasteful and juvenile these remarks are? It is obvious he wants to get noticed. But please could he do it elsewhere.

A grinning Emmerson Mnangagwa was shown looking on as Mugabe blew on the cake and lit the candles. Phelekezela Mphoko was as morose as ever.

Meanwhile, Telecel Zimbabwe founding shareholder Leo Mugabe has been denouncing his co-founders James Makamba, Jane Mutasa and Philip Chiyangwa branding them doctors of extortion. Leo was fighting tooth and nail to have a fair equity in the company, we are told. They were bleeding shareholders of their shares in the mobile operator.

By the way where is James Makamba? After being arrested for allegedly externalising about US$1 million, isn’t the business stalwart also exonerated to return home like others who were fingered for committing the same crime? Of what magnitude is his offence that he was even frightened to attend his daughter’s burial? What’s going on here?

Hidden culprit

It was useful to hear Media minister Jonathan Moyo’s denial of any involvement in the bombing of the Daily News printing press back in 2002.

“That is an allegation,” he told a press meeting. “It has been made countless times before without any truth or facts to support it. I hope and pray that one day the real truth will be known. I honestly don’t know and that is the truth between me and God.”

So, if Moyo had nothing to do with it then who did? Somebody out there knows what happened and has a story to tell. It needs to be told. It is a dark and evil chapter in our country’s recent history.

Questionable

We liked the pictures of Robert Mugabe waving his fists around published by Mbada Diamonds in the Daily News of February 21 to mark Mugabe’s birthday. The pictures from the late colonial era exhort him to “continue emancipating Zimbabwe and indeed the entire African continent”.

Mbada might do better if it explained why the country was so rich in diamonds just a few years ago but seems to have less to boast of now. Or is that a question for Obert Mpofu?

“Our votes must go together with our guns,” Mugabe is quoted as saying of the earlier struggle.

“After all, any votes we shall have shall have been the product of the gun.”

So could we say Zimbabwe’s freedom is the product of guns and diamonds?

Not really. But some commentators might say so. And it is good to see Zanu PF luminaries at each others’ throats. That’s where they belong. They should stop lecturing us on how brave and clever they are because they managed to fix an election in 2008. Let’s see how successful they are at solving Africa’s problems.

Headline

The social media was awash with comments relating to Daily News’ headline on Monday that read: “Mnangagwa fingers Grace”.
The majority believed the headline, which attracted a plethora of interpretations, should be voted headline of the year. Was it really suggestive as some thought?

9 thoughts on “Muckraker: ‘Gushing’ stampede by non-performers”

  1. Matinga says:

    Headline yaiva vakuru! Daily News huya utore sando dzako!

  2. Fiona Winch says:

    Please check your facts: Marie Antoinette never said that.

    1. Dodson Mugabe says:

      were u there?

  3. Observer says:

    Mobutu Sese Seko of Zaire was once upon a time referred to as : His Excellency, Commander-in-chief, Lieutenant General, Field Marshal,General,Colonel, Nkuku Ngumbenja, WaZambanga WaZaire Mobutu Sese Seko ! The dictator lies in an unmarked grave in distant Morocco. It all came to an end. The end of Mugabe dynasty is in sight.

  4. marc says:

    Not all western leaders obey the rule about eating in public. Google “Ed Miliband eating a sandwich” if you want a good laugh.

  5. Observer says:

    Jonathan Moyo said he was going to deal with the Daily News once and for all. Within 24 hours its printing press was blown to smithereens. Hence or otherwise, Jonathan Moyo is to blame for the bombing. The buck stops with him. Period.

  6. ZimJim says:

    Excellent insight, as always. Cheers.

  7. fuyane says:

    Yawn!!

  8. Yomo Nathanjo says:

    The Daily News was bombed after it had published some touchy history of a certain professor who allegedly misused FORD foundation moneys in Kenya etc. What country has a Security department that cannot resolve a bombing? Had it been the Herald that was bombed, would we still have a mystery to date?

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