HomeOpinionIt’s shaping up like 2008 all over again

It’s shaping up like 2008 all over again

After a brief hiatus, ZBC’s coterie of political “analysts” has finally returned. Their brief is usually to commend Zanu PF and condemn whatever the MDC-T does.

By The MuckRacker

This time around the analysts were “hailing” the Zanu PF side of government’s stance not to invite observers from countries that are “hostile” and have imposed “illegal” sanctions on Harare.

Ceaser Zvayi ironically accused the West of having a “holier than thou” attitude even though he feels it’s ok for his handlers to declare they are the only party fit to rule Zimbabwe.

Zvayi observed a “worrying trend” that some of the Western observers come as competitors, referees and sponsors of some of the contesting parties. He, however, seems unfazed by his role as a Zanu PF apparatchik despite masquerading as an objective journalist.

‘Progressive’ arnachy

Another “analyst” Hildegard Manzvanzvike unhelpfully chipped in saying the decision to bar Western countries from observing the polls was mostly due to “illegal” sanctions.

It was Zimbabwe‘s sovereign right, Manzvanzvike opined, to choose “progressive” bodies to come and observe the elections.
We are sure Cde Coltrane Chimurenga and his December 12 Movement rank among these “progressive” bodies.

Readers might remember Manzvanzvike’s infamous claim that Harare’s Africa Unity Square used to be Cecil (John Rhodes) Square even though Cecil Square was named after Robert Cecil, Earl of Salisbury, not Cecil John Rhodes.

Angry on their behalf

On the flipside ZBC unleashed another batch of “analysts”, this time to lambast Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai for his “desperate attempt to discredit the country ahead of the referendum and elections”.

The rant comes in the wake of the outrage that ensued following the death of an MDC-T official’s son Christpowers Maisiri.
Making up for lost time Jonathan Moyo let it rip on the MDC-T, accusing the party of having a “hidden agenda to cause disharmony and disrupt the country from holding a peaceful referendum and elections”.

Charity Manyeruke, always charitable in her comments about President Mugabe and Zanu PF, wanted to “remind” the MDC-T that the same country they are discrediting is the one they “pretend they want to lead”.
“Zimbabwe is for Zimbabweans, the MDC-T should just stop playing politics to satisfy their master,” fumed Manyeruke, who was clearly angry on Zanu PF’s behalf.

Charity begins at home

While Zanu PF apologists were frothing at the mouth accusing the MDC-T of “causing disharmony” and disrupting the peaceful holding of elections, war veterans in Bindura threatened to deal with all those who did not vote for Zanu PF.

The Standard reports that Bindura war veterans chairman, Elijah Dondo, said: “If it means going back to war again, then we can, because we can’t let the country get re-colonised while we are watching.”

Very soon, Dondo ominously declared, war veterans will start “teaching” the youth how to “defend” the country.

Such brazen inciting is unlikely to elicit censure from the so-called analysts lest it get in the way of a good fable.

Bosom buddies

Some weeks ago the Zimbabwe Independent reported that Equatorial Guinea was Zanu PF’s main benefactor in the oil sector.

Equatorial Guinea’s ruler Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo who heads the tiny state has been attempting to integrate into international organisations like Ecowas. But his record has not been altogether clean. And his son is even worse according to French press reports.
Obiang came to power by removing his uncle who was incarcerated and tortured to death. Zimbabwe’s delegation was probably impressed!
Laying down the law

It was good to see Sweden laying down certain fundamentals ahead of the referendum.

It was clear from talks between Foreign Affairs minister Simbarashe Mumbengegwi and Sweden’s International Development Cooperation minister Gunilla Carllson that Zimbabwe wants to get away with electoral manipulation and at the same time have sanctions lifted.

Government has invited observers from “friendly countries” to observe the referendum, we were told, but the US and EU don’t fall into that category. Incremental lifting won’t do either.

The Swedes must be aware of the tragedy that has befallen the Maisiri family. Yet Mumbengegwi wants to pretend nothing has happened.

“I emphasised to the minister that we have taken a clear and uncompromising position that there will be zero tolerance to violence as we move towards, during and after elections.”

That looks good on paper. But what Mumbengegwi doesn’t understand is that it has to be implemented on the ground. You can’t make grand declarations of intent and then burn opponents to death!

And Zimbabwe’s leaders actually claimed the Maisiri family had been lying. Can you imagine the pain the family felt with that canard?
Then we had statements from the army about refusing Morgan Tsvangirai access to State House if he won the election.

Zanu PF clearly believes such behaviour tolerable. The EU doesn’t. Nor does civil society.

So we already have a compromised election. It’s 2008 all over again.

Experience best tutor

We found first lady Grace Mugabe’s statements to Miss 21st February beauty pageant contestants a tad curious.

She reportedly urged young women against being wooed by older men whom she said will lead them to destruction.

“You should be careful not to be abused by older men who use money to lure you into unsanctioned marriages and other immoral activities that destroy marriages and produce unwanted babies,” she said.

These are telling remarks considering her own predicament. Hopefully her listeners heeded her advice despite the hypocrisy.

Grace Mugabe, however, wasn’t done with pontificating, something she has of late taken to with gusto. Zimbabweans, she stated, should avoid violence in the coming referendum and harmonised elections.

Zanu PF has been in existence for a long time “in a period punctuated by peace and tranquility”, we were told. Such a “tradition” should be sustained and maintained for progress.

We are sure the victims of Zanu PF inflicted violence since Independence up to the orgy of the 2008 presidential election runoff were not amused.

Men of the froth

Finally Muckraker was amused by the sycophancy exhibited by one of the apostolic sects “leaders” mushrooming all over the show and claiming to speak on the diverse groupings’ behalf.

“We are pained by the fact that the president is not receiving much support from Matabeleland although he is supposed to be respected just like any other king and ruler of a land,” Josiah Ndlovu, chairman of the fishy Association of Apostolic Churches in Zimbabwe Matabeleland chapter.

“We support the President and the party as a whole. The kings of the land must be supported and respected such that even if something happens tomorrow or the future looks uncertain, people would still remember fondly their kings.”

That is unlikely to happen in Matabeleland given how much that region has given Zanu PF its marching orders over the years.

Another “prophet”, Madzibaba Medaldo Ruzungunde, who NewsDay reports was recently jailed for seriously assaulting a former congregant, was at pains to shower as much praise on President Mugabe as his vocabulary could muster describing him as a “God given and inspiring leader”.

“We should pray that President Mugabe should be given more years and that he reaches the 120 years mark,” Ruzungunde yelped.

He is of course joined by the equally dubious and not-so reverend Obadiah Msindo who described Mugabe as the “black Moses”.

So much for the so-called spiritual intelligence!

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