It’s a Weird World

SPIKED APPLES: A Polish lawmaker who failed a drink-driving test said he had eaten too many apples, the website of daily Gazeta Wyborcza said Monday.

Asked why a traffic police check on Sunday showed he had 0,7 units of alcohol in his blood, Marek Latas denied having drunk alcohol that day.

“I am diabetic, I ate a few apples before driving.”

The prosecutor’s office is investigating his case, the website said. In Poland, the legal limit for alcohol when driving is 0,2 units. Fermented apple juice can be used to make cider, an alcoholic drink. –– Reuters.

FLYING GRAN: A North Yorkshire grandmother drove over a 30-metre cliff while not wearing a seatbelt — and walked away without a scratch.

Barbara Tyreman (60) of Eskdaleside, near Whitby, was leaving her home when she accidentally hit the accelerator of her Mini. As she swerved to avoid another car, the Mini “flew” over the cliff and landed between two trees, reports the BBC.

“I sat in my car and realised I hadn’t banged my head and my legs and arms and everything were still moving and I couldn’t believe it.” — Ananova.

SPEED THRILLS: A 106-year-old Kent woman has become the oldest person to complete a lap at Brands Hatch in the UK. Miss King-Hall, of Tunbridge Wells, declared: “It could have been faster”, as she was helped back into her wheelchair after completing four laps as a passenger.

Asked why she loved the thrill of speed, she replied: “Why shouldn’t I? Don’t you like it? I like the feeling of the vehicle going vroom.” — Ananova.

TOILET CHEF: An inmate’s attempt to heat up sausages in his toilet went up in smoke when the cooking fire forced a unit evacuation at a Washington state prison. 

Clallam Bay Corrections Centre spokeswoman Denise Larson says 130 inmates were evacuated to a dining hall when smoke was spotted coming from a sewer vent pipe on Wednesday evening.

She says the smoke was traced to the inmate’s cell and he admitted to trying to heat up snack sausage bought from a prison store in the stainless steel toilet. — Msnbc.

QUICK-FIRE: A teenager has been charged with lighting an unconscious man’s pants on fire and causing a third-degree burn to the man’s groin, police said Monday.

Tyler Quick (18) was arraigned Friday on a charge of assault, according to police in the Detroit suburb of Ferndale, Michigan.

Lt William Wilson told The Daily Tribune of Royal Oak that Quick was attending a party at the home of a 51-year-old man when the host passed out.

Police said Quick placed a lit candle under the man’s crotch, setting fire to his pants. The man awoke and extinguished the fire. — Msnbc.

PRIVATE PARTS THEFT: Chileka Police in Malawi are keeping in custody a 53-year-old man for concealing his ex-wife’s private parts through magic in an effort to bar her and her current husband from having sex.

Chileka Police spokesperson Stella Nkandala recently said the suspect, Samuel Mayinga of Malunga Village, Traditional Authority Machinjiri, Blantyre, was arrested last month and has been charged with conduct likely to cause breach of peace.    

She said, whenever the two wanted to have sex, the woman’s private parts would go missing. This went on for a month, prompting the woman to report the matter to Police.

Mayinga said he did that because he was jealous. He also said the witchdoctor who made him the concoction has since died. –– The Nation.                           

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