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It’s A Weird World

BURGLAR-SAUNA: Authorities in California say they have arrested a man who broke into the home of two  farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.

Fresno County sheriff’s Ian Burrimond says 22-year-old Antonio Vasquez was found hiding in a field wearing only a T-shirt, boxers and socks after the Saturday morning attack.
He says deputies arrested Vasquez after finding a wallet containing his ID in the ransacked house.
The farmworkers told deputies the suspect woke them Saturday morning by rubbing spices on one of them and smacking the other with an 8-inch sausage.
Burrimond says money allegedly stolen was recovered. –– AP.

JAW-BREAKER: It’s a fishing tale that packs a wallop so strong it broke the jaw of an American teen and covered him in fish blood and guts.
Seth Russell (15) of Arkansas, was cruising Lake Chicot on a large inner tube towed by a boat when a Silver Asian carp leaped from the water and smacked him in the face. Seth was knocked unconscious.
“He doesn’t remember anything at all,” the boy’s mother, Linda Russell, said last week. “He was laughing, and the next thing he remembers, he is waking in a hospital.”
The teen has had oral surgery to wire several teeth together and still experiences back pain that doctors attribute to whiplash from the high-speed collision, his mother said. –– AP.

CONDOM-HEIST: A robber rolled into a US convenience store armed with a bat and a knife. He left with a lot of condoms and an energy drink.
Dallas police spokesman Kevin Janse said that a man in a wheelchair entered a Dallas 7-Eleven store, rolled straight toward the cash register and beat it with a baseball bat until it opened.
But he didn’t grab any cash. Instead, police say he stole 10 boxes of condoms and an energy drink before making his getaway.
Janse says the suspect may have been homeless and was likely intoxicated at the time of the robbery. –– AP.

BOOBY-TRAP: Police in the US state of Florida are hopeful of catching a cross-dressing purse snatcher who left a clue behind –– a fake boob.
Officers in Port St Lucie say it happened when the man grabbed a 74-year-old woman’s purse, reports the Palm Beach Post.
The woman told police she was walking to her car when the thief pushed her to the ground and ran off with her purse.
A water-filled condom covered by a sock, which the victim said had popped out of the suspect’s tube top during the struggle, was found by officers at the scene.
One witness told police the thief wore a denim mini skirt and a black tube top and left in a silver car occupied by two other men also dressed as women. Police are processing the fake boob for fingerprints to identify the suspects, police spokesman Officer Robert Vega said.
They will also conduct a DNA analysis on a hair –– possibly a chest hair –– found on the condom. –– AP.

SPEED-SKATER: German police are looking for a skateboarder who was filmed travelling around 130km/h on a motorway.
German autobahns often have no speed restrictions but the picturesque stretch of road concerned outside Goeppingen, near Stuttgart, has a limit of 80km/h.
Press reports say the man, dressed in a red and black jumpsuit and an aerodynamic white helmet, is a stuntman and well-known international downhill skater.
But police spokesman Uli Stoeckle said officers were trying to find the skater who was being investigated for dangerous behaviour. –– AP.

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