Yes, they said it in 2004


Gift Phiri


“Iraq today has become a vast inferno created by blatant and completely illegal and defiant act

s of aggression by the United States, Britain and their allies. We are now being coerced to accept and believe that a new political-cum-religious doctrine has arisen, namely that ‘there is but one political god, George Bush, and Tony Blair is his prophet’.” President Mugabe in a speech on Iraq at the United Nations General Assembly.


* “The regime pulled out its last card, but nothing has come of it: whites, land, puppets, price controls, media controls, intolerance, nationalism, anti-corruption, cosmetic electoral reforms, nothing.” MDC leader Morgan Tsvangirai, commenting on the current Zimbabwe crisis.

* “(Information Minister Jonathan) Moyo is a ranting and shallow minded propagandist who has sapped the moral authority of the president.” Ugandan David Nyekorach-Matsanga after being barred from entering Zimbabwe.


* “We want to leave this meeting with an agreement. If you refuse to cooperate we can take you to the army barracks and detain you and you will see what will happen. I have fought 45 battles since I was 17 years old and I have never lost. This one is just a cup of tea and we can solve it within a matter of minutes.” Zimbabwe Defence Forces commander General Constantine Chiwenga threatening striking doctors at a meeting in January.


* “Young man you must not waste my time asking irrelevant questions. Be direct and straight to the point.” Chinhoyi Zanu PF MP Philip Chiyangwa to chief law officer Joseph Jagada during his cross-examination on his links with the collapsed ENG Capital Asset Management.


* “The accreditation (of journalists) is not, therefore, a mere formality. If it were, why would it need the minister (of Information)’s approval?” Supreme Court judge Justice Wilson Sandura in a dissenting judgement in the Aippa challenge by Independent Journalists Association of Zimbabwe.


* “(British Prime Minister) Tony Blair has said Africa is a scar on the conscience of the world. Mugabe is a scar on the face of Africa. He is one of the grotesque tyrants of the planet, and the sooner we can get rid of him the better.” Irish rock star-turned poverty campaigner Bob Geldof on the launch of Live Aid, a fund to counter human rights abuses in Zimbabwe.


* “Come rain, come sunshine, there is no going back on Kondozi.” Information minister Jonathan Moyo on the seizure of Kondozi Farm by government.


* “I haven’t lost to anyone. How can I lose to those immoral little boys.” Vice-President Joseph Msika reacting to reports that he had lost the battle to save Kondozi Farm from seizure to Jonathan Moyo.


* “It is appalling to see a country engaged in acts of self-destruction with (Reserve Bank governor Gideon) Gono exerting more energy in hounding individuals — as if he was a police commissioner — than working on economic recovery. Sound economic policies can never be substituted with a display of venom and arresting individuals.” Self-exiled tycoon Mutumwa Mawere after being arrested in South Africa for alleged externalisation of foreign currency.


* “If true, the government must explain why it funded such a luxury for a political head reputed to be a dictator.” Malaysian opposition leader Paham Cumarasamy urging an investigation into how former premier Mahathir Mohamad “donated” construction material for President Mugabe’s Borrowdale home.


* “Yes, I restrained him from beating up a member of parliament. You don’t just wait there when a mad man is charging at you. It’s true, I kicked him very hard. What’s wrong with that?” Anti-Corruption minister Didymus Mutasa commenting on the fracas in parliament involving Justice minister Patrick Chinamasa and MDC legislator Roy Bennett.


* “Murungu wenyu uyu ndinomurova, ndibatei (I will beat up this white man of yours, can someone please restrain me),” Minister without Portfolio Elliot Manyika during the Bennett scuffle in parliament.


* “It is the view of the coalition that the proposed amendments to Aippa would not make it a good law. It’s like applying lipstick to a frog.” Crisis in Zimbabwe Coalition commenting on the amendments to Section 40 and 83 of Aippa.


* “Zanu PF has come a long way and at different times it has had infiltrators and people planted within — the fifth columnists — but they have always been flushed out.” Zanu PF chairman John Nkomo warning ruling party officials on the multiple farm allocation row.


* “They are going to face the severest punishment available in our statutes, including capital punishment.” Foreign Affairs minister Stan Mudenge after the capture of 70 “mercenaries” at the Harare International Airport.


* “Ironically Zimbabwe cannot even beam its ZBC to Victoria Falls for tourists to see or the Herald to be read in Tsholotsho where the infamous homosexual gay rant comes from.” Nyekorach-Matsanga in reaction to Jonathan Moyo’s accusations that he organised the exclusive interview for Sky News with Mugabe.


* “Personally, I don’t use condoms, they are so inconvenient, one has to fumble and stop, particularly when you are drunk. They are not the best protection against Aids.” Dr Timothy Stamps, one time long serving Health minister in an interview with Zanu PF mouthpiece, The Voice.


* “If they are an illegal entity, the police would have arrested them by now,” Zimbabwe International Book Fair executive director Samuel Matsangaise reacting to controversy about the Gays and Lesbians of Zimbabwe exhibiting at the Book Fair.


* “It’s my prayer that President Mugabe should live longer to deliver us to the promised land.” Zanu PF-aligned Reverend Obediah Musindo at the opening of the recent Zanu PF congress.

* “Mugabe go? Go where? He should rule even if it means he is walking with the aid of a walking stick. He is the father of our nation; he is entitled to rule us forever.” Vice-President Joseph Msika on suggestions President Mugabe should step down.

* “I am calling for attitudinal change within our newly resettled farmers. Under the regime of Ian Smith and up to 1999, 4 000 white farmers produced enough food for the nation and had more left over for export. Today, after the land reform programme, there are over 12 000 farmers (A2) but they are failing to do what their predecessors did.” Enos Chikowore reporting on the dismal production on Zimbabwe’s grabbed farms.


* “It is a crime to conceive the exit of the head of state. I love my leader and I am committed to him. I would love him to continue (to rule) until death.” Zanu PF secretary for administration Emmerson Mnangagwa responding to whether he would like to be president.

“Media should report correctly on the Unity Accord. (But) I don’t believe all media should speak with one voice.” Zanu PF party chair John Nkomo speaking ahead of Unity Day on December 22.


* “No bank will collapse.” Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe governor Gideon Gono in September.