|
Compiled by Kudzai Kuwaza
AS we come to the end of 2011 we pick out quotes that made us laugh, cry, cringe or simply shake our heads in disbelief. Here are some of them:
“Now Tsvangirai says he wants a divorce.We are not married, and it follows that there can be no divorce. He is taking his sexual preoccupation too far. It’s one thing for him to have sexual problems all over the place but he should not bring sexual metaphors to serious matters, his sexual indiscretions to government.
“We are not married to him, a coalition is not a marriage but a convenient arrangement for the moment. We will never marry puppets, never ever.” — Jonathan Moyo reacts to a threat by Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai to pull out of the inclusive government.
“MDC MPs in Zimbabwe are vulnerable and not honourable. They are endangered species. The rhino is safer than MDC Members of Parliament.” — MDC spokesman Nelson Chamisa laments the crackdown on MDC-T MPs.
“They are saying remove these sanctions, they are hurting us. If you ignore that, then you even ignore God.” — Zanu PF chairman Simon Khaya Moyo on sanctions.
“We were told that Zanu PF will hold a football tournament on Sunday. I do not know who will be playing the football. Is it John Nkomo or Simon Khaya Moyo who will be in goals?” — MDC-T secretary-general Tendai Biti on their failure to hold a rally at Zimbabwe Grounds because Zanu PF had reportedly booked the venue for a football match.
“We must avoid the circus that began in Kenya, was perfected in Zimbabwe and backfired in the Ivory Coast.” — Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai commenting on inclusive governments.
‘’If you buy underwear from flea markets for your wife and if I were your father-in-law, I would take my daughter back.” — Tendai Biti at a pre-budget consultation meeting in Kwekwe.
“Why is it that nobody calls the MDC-T the anti-Senate faction or the other smaller formation the pro-Senate faction? Is that not because it’s yesterday’s weather which is now irrelevant? So I am not interested in yesterday’s weather but I am very interested in tomorrow’s forecast and that is not flip-flopping, it is reality with only one constant called change.” — Jonathan Moyo on claims that he is a political chameleon.
“The Daily News is now an MDC mouthpiece, from Monday to Monday they only write about MDC but they call themselves the leading independent daily in Zimbabwe. You should change your name to Harvest House Daily News newspaper.” — Welshman Ncube accuses the Daily News of being a mouthpiece of the MDC-T.
“When he is with white people, he sings the song and when he is with black people, he says what he knows they want to hear. He even moos when he is with cattle.” — Ncube castigates Tsvangirai over policy inconsistency.
“This is particularly so with failed farmers, some of whom masquerade as cabinet ministers who continue to be called new farmers even after 11 years of the land reform programme.” — Biti responding to criticism that he has refused to adequately fund the agricultural sector.
“We are killing rats but consuming elephants.” — Biti bemoaning the disparity between the money government collected and that which it spent during his 2012 budget presentation.
“Time has now come for us to prepare for elections and we just have to have elections next year. Look at this, there are three parties — MDC formations and Zanu-PF. There are those among us who lost the elections completely. They were rejected by the people. We asked parliament to regard them as if they won the elections. Now we have them in government.
“We have honourable that and honourable this when votes had made them dishonourable this and dishonourable that. We actually cheated on democracy but let us not overdo it.” — President Robert Mugabe calling for elections at the Zanu PF conference held earlier this month.
“If Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai has one fatal character, weakness which defines his persona and leadership or lack thereof, it is that just like he typically approaches national issues with an open mouth, he now routinely approaches women anywhere and everywhere at places such as political rallies, airports and offices with an open zip and a shut mind. — Jonathan Moyo attacks Prime minister Morgan Tsvangirai over the way he handled reports of his marriage to Locadia Tembo.
“The bottom line is that I will not salute someone like that personally. I will resign if the political establishment accept it, if they do that would be fair and fine. It’s not in me. Principle is indivisible — it is either yes or no. I am not a hypocrite; I will stand by what I have said.
“What I know is best, what I know is principled. We lost a lot of comrades because of some of these people when they turned against us during the liberation struggle and for me to wake up and say good morning sir, me no, no, no!” — Brigadier Douglas Nyikayaramba causes a stir during an interview with the Zimbabwe Independent by vowing never to salute Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai should he win presidential elections.
“If you can change your father in your family, then we can do the same, but has anyone ever changed his or her father just because he is old? Until your father dies only then can you have a stepfather –– that is that.” — Nyikayaramba in the same interview on Mugabe’s presidency.
“There is no question that those who voted for the MDC are dissidents. And as the leadership, you don’t want to be associated with or lead dissidents.” — Zanu PF secretary for administration Didymus Mutasa blames some Zanu PF parliamentarians for voting for MDC-T chairman Lovemore Moyo for the post of Speaker. Moyo defeated Zanu PF candidate Simon Khaya Moyo.
“Copac is like a disabled child. Just because the child does not have an arm and a leg doesn’t make him any less a human being.” — Copac co-chairman Paul Mangwana dismissing claims by his co-chairpersons that the document published in the Herald was fake.
 |
Show/Hide comments
Show/Hide comment form
